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Friday, May 6, 2011

How Did We Get Here?

As a momma, do you ever have those moments where you just stop and think "how did we get here?"

Even as Elliott approaches the 16 month mark, I still have moments (almost daily) where I cannot believe that I'm a mom.

Most days it just comes so naturally.
I'm not bragging about anything....I'm just saying that having this little girl in my world, caring for her needs, teaching her things.....that is all second nature to me. It doesn't feel weird, and she's not an inconvenience. She is our family, and this is our life. Changing diapers, facilitating naps, preparing meals, and playing silly toddler games are all part of my daily activities, and I don't even think twice about them.

Except for those rare moments where I stop and think "how did we get here?"
Wasn't it just yesterday that I found out that I was pregnant? No?!
What was my life even like before I had this little built-in alarm clock that truly needs me every moment of the day?!
I don't remember life before Ellie. But then again, I don't remember becoming a mom, either. Of course, I remember her birth....but what was the defining moment that turned me from a girl, a woman, a wife.....into a mom?
I look at her at times and am amazed that God has entrusted me with this precious little life. I wonder at the gigantic responsibility that is her childhood, her life. And I'm the one who gets to shape it and mold it? I get to teach her about life and about people and about who she is going to be?!
It floors me. It really does.

I thank God on a daily basis for this little gift. I guess as Mother's Day approaches, I've been thinking about it a little more than usual. And here I am, rambling on about how I didn't know that I was a mother. Silly, I know.
The truth is, though, I was made for this. I've longed for this my entire life, waited for the timing to be just right, and I was ready. And now that it's actually here, I'm really a mom, sometimes it's just so surreal. It's too easy, I think to myself sometimes. (Don't get me wrong, we have rough days around this house, too.) I forget how important this job is and how much responsibility is on my shoulders, because most of the time it's just so fun and easy. It's simple and it's natural. I think that's the way it should be, and yet it still catches me off guard.

So here I sit, pinching my own arm to remind myself.....this is not a dream. This is your life. Yes you're a momma, and yes that is your gorgeous daughter. Now, go live it and don't hold anything back.

Sorry, this is more serious than I usually get on this little blog :) I just had some thoughts and wanted to get them out. I hope all of you moms out there get a chance to reflect on motherhood this weekend. I pray that you feel loved and cherished, and that you can find a way to be refreshed.

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Ashley said...

I have the same thoughts! I sometimes cannot believe that I have 2 kids and that my oldest will be 7 this year. I have been a "mom" for so long that I do not remember what it was like not having kids! lol

I hope that you have a FANTASTIC Mothers Day!!!

Great pics - I love that dress.

Dionna said...

I am totally with you! So bittersweet.
Happy Mom's Day!

Barbara said...

Awe.....Really sweet post Amanda! I feel this way daily. It's amazing to see how far we've come and how blessed we truly are. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day weekend! <3

Anonymous said...

I totally know what you mean. Life gets so so busy and rushed. Most of the time I get that lightbulb moment while changing a diaper. Like, "What?!? I am changing a diaper right now?! Who am I?" it is very surreal. For me it is like I have arrived :) Happy Mother's Day, sweetie!

Jennifer D said...

I'm not a mama (to the human-kind), but thought this post was very honest and sweet. Loved it.